New Orleans · Private Pool Curation
White-glove pool curation for the Garden District, Uptown, and the city's most storied estates.
By appointment only
Est. 2026 · Louisiana
Our Services
Start with a single visit, or step straight into a weekly ritual. We take twenty residences, no more, and founding members keep their rate for the life of the membership.
One Visit
A cleaning only visit. See how we work, with nothing added to the water.
One Visit
A full introduction. Our complete standard, before any commitment.
Monthly
The weekly ritual, kept impeccably.
Most Requested
Monthly
Full curation, inside the water and at its edge.
Monthly memberships and The Invitation include chemicals and testing. No crews, no long contracts, and no surprises. Compare every detail
Why We Exist
The typical arrangement is familiar. A rotating crew arrives when it arrives, chemistry is judged by eye, the gate is left ajar, and the invoice is the only thing delivered on time. For a fine home, familiar is not good enough.
We believe a pool is architecture, as considered as the millwork and as visible as the garden. Water this prominent deserves the discipline of a conservator. It should be measured, recorded, and handled by people who know exactly whose home they are standing in.
Je Ne Sais Aqua replaces the pool boy with the pool curator. Every visit is scheduled to the hour. Every reading is logged to the decimal. Every gate is closed behind us. Nothing is guessed, and nothing is disturbed.
The Usual Way
The Curated Way
The Three Disciplines
Chemistry
Titration-grade testing on every visit. We read pH, alkalinity, calcium hardness, sanitizer, and stabilizer, log each value to the decimal, and trend the results across the season. Your water is kept in equilibrium with clinical care, quietly, continuously, and on record.
Logged · Trended · Verified twice
Stonework
Historic tile, plaster, and stone are conserved by hand. Waterlines are detailed, scuppers cleared, and mineral scale lifted before it can set. The edge of your pool is treated like the antique it borders.
Conserved by hand
Concierge
Service is arranged around your household rather than our route, at the same hour on the same day every week. Traveling? We steward the water in your absence. Hosting? The pool is event-ready by your appointed time. One text reaches a founder directly.
Your calendar · Our clock
The Founders
Benjamin and D’Artagnan met in the engineering school at Tulane and found a shared conviction: the finest pools in New Orleans were being kept to the lowest standard in the trade. They founded Je Ne Sais Aqua to correct that, personally.
Co-Founder · Tulane Engineering, Pre-Med Track
Benjamin studies engineering on the pre-med track, and it shows in how he treats your water. Samples are drawn and titrated with clinical precision, hygiene is held to the standard of a laboratory, and every reading is verified before it enters the record. The health of the water is his entire brief.
Co-Founder · Tulane Engineering Physics
D’Artagnan studies engineering physics and serves as the engineer of the physical asset. Pumps, filters, heaters, plumbing, tile, and stone all fall under his stewardship. He inspects the structure the way a physicist inspects any system: methodically, on a schedule, and long before small wear can become a large repair.
“We service twenty residences, not two hundred. We know every gate code, every garden, and every preference. And we are the only two people who ever will.”
Fully insured · Background-checked · Discreet by contract
Read Our StoryThe White-Glove Protocol
You should notice the water, never the work. Select a step to see how a residence moves from first consultation to standing perfection.
Step I
A founder visits at your convenience and walks the property with you, or with your house manager if you prefer. We learn the entry protocol, the garden's rhythms, the hours you value quiet, and the standard you expect. Nothing begins until it is agreed in writing.
Duration · About one hour
The Standard
The kind of water, and the kind of home, we care for. Representative photography; our own client work stays private.
By Invitation
Founding memberships are extended in the order inquiries are received, and confirmed only after a consultation at your residence. Your details are held in confidence and never shared.